and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
