That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
