I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Randomize
