i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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