i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
