You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
