Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
