You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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