im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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