why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
