Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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