so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
