there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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