sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
