Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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