plz talk dirty to me
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
