that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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