David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
