HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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