haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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