But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
