Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
