if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
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