What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
