Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
