just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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