hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize