yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
