So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
