Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
