i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
id be glad to
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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