i just wanna soil my oats bro
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
