i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
