I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
