Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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