whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
