You can't motorboat a personality
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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