need another drink. this is the easiest way
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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