The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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