Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
