I'm lost and stupid without you.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
