Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
