Soap is not a condiment
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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