Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
