I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
