Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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