There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
