he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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