Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
