We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
If I had your ass I would rule the world
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
