RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
